The Most FUNNY Jokes On Johnny Carson – ht
I’ll tell you I’ll tell you I’m I’m all right now. Last week I was in rough shape, though. You know, my wife’s father, he moved in with us. His electronic pacemaker. Every time he sneezes, the garage door opens. The funniest moments in television happened on Johnny Carson’s stage when legendary comedians brought their agame.
I’m a bad drink. A bad drinker, Johnny. I mean, when I drink, I don’t know what I’m doing. The next day, I end up I usually wake up in some strange place with a kid with an accent playing with my feet. These are the most hilarious jokes on Johnny Carson. Buddy Hackett, the duck joke master. He says, “What are you doing in my yard?” He said, “I come to get the duck.” He said, “That’s my duck.
It’s not your duck. This is my yard. That duck fell, hit my barn, laying there.” He says, “Yes, but that’s not your duck. I shot the duck. I’ve been out hunting for a couple days.” Says, “Give me a break. You know, I’m from the city.” You’re from the city. However, I’ll give you a chance at the duck.
We can settle this country style. Country style? He says, “Yeah, how do you settle country style?” He says, “Hal, I kick you in the groin and then you kick me in the groin and we take turns kicking each other in the groin. Who’s ever left keeps the duck.” The guy said, “Well, if that’s what I got to do,” the farmer says, “I go first.” And he hauls off.
And the guy go [screaming] [screaming] About half hour has passed and he says to the farmer, “Well, I guess it’s my turn.” And the farmer says, “You could have the duck.” [applause] [cheering] Ratings soared after this episode released. Johnny thought the joke was so perfectly structured, he asked Buddy to teach him better comedic timing.
Rodney Dangerfield, no respect. And you know me, I love crowds. I mean, when I was a kid, my house was always crowded. Always people around. You know, I come from big oldfashioned, hardworking, stupid family. That’s what I come from. What a dumb family I got. Are you kidding? I looked up my family tree. I found out I’m the sap.
Rodney’s woke up in a strange place gag also broke Johnny completely. The next day I end up I usually wake up in some strange place with a kid with an accent playing with my feet. That happened to you, too? Yeah. Yeah. Carson told Ed McMahon, “Dangerfield’s delivery is so relentless, I forget to breathe when he’s on Jonathan Winters and Robin Williams. The improv sprint.
” Gosh, I was so taken with this guy. I was when I first uh first met him and on Mor and Mindy, we we did we we had a marvelous time. Those were good days. Winters and Williams trade characters and voices so fast Johnny can’t regain control of his own show. And now here you want to play with those? Oh yeah.
This way I I won’t have so much guilt. Carson told his producer, “Book these two together and I’ll just sit back because there’s no containing that energy.” Don Rickles, the Sinatra ambusher. I I I just I just was hanging around in the hall and I I said, “Frank Sinatra’s here and I’ve never met him, you know.
” And I get the You’ll excuse us, won’t you? Certainly. Certainly. Marco Manganzo was hurt. Don barges in unannounced while Sinatra is having a calm conversation and instantly turns it into a roast targeting Frank’s mob mythology. Marco Mandalo Fambino Bombato two bullets in the head Thursday.
[applause] Johnny later said Rickles is the only man alive who can insult Sinatra to his face and walk away with his kneecaps intact. Eddie Murphy the underwear joke. Thank you. Shut up. Eddie hits the stage with the confidence of someone already acting like a headliner, not a new kid, making his first Carson appearance.
The laughs stack instantly after making fun of male models. You ever see those guys modeling clothes in catalog? Ever see those guys doing the same thing in their suit? Every time I put on a suit, I got to go like this. I was just outside standing in the front going. [cheering] You can tell Johnny knows he’s watching someone who’s about to explode into stardom and he leans into it.
Robin Williams, the pinball comedian. Believe that comedy can heal you. Praise the power. Praise the Jesus. And Sears had a sale. His furniture went cheap. Robin barrels out with that pinball energy where one impression detonates into three more before anyone can process what happened.
Johnny tries interjecting while Robin keeps ricocheting into quick change characters and stream of consciousness riffs for my friends in San Francisco. How that should wake him up. That’s a laidback place up there. Carson said, “Williams is the only guest who makes me feel like the audience watching my own show.
Martin Short, the Betty Davis roast.” And what a pleasure to meet you. Thank you. Thank you. You’re wonderful. That was great. Oh, thank you. You know, I I am so excited to be here and I I I brought you a little gift. I brought you a bottle of champagne. But if Martin goes right for the signature B Davis voice and attitude while she sits there watching him mock her in real time.
David David Eddie David Eddie show you know John what’s amazing to me about having Ed we wanted to have Doc oh we didn’t have Doc and John but to me John Short later admitted the bit was terrifying because he couldn’t tell if Davis was playing along or legitimately annoyed Steve [music] Martin the great flyini [applause] [applause] Steve does the bit almost silently treating his unzipped fly like a magician’s stage and keeps producing impossible props.
He does a puppet bit and even answers a phone all from the fly while Johnny and the crowd lose it. [applause and cheering] [music] Carson said, “Martin turned a sight gag into high art and I couldn’t look away even though I knew exactly what he was doing.” Andy Kaufman, the Elvis transformation. All right. Elvis Presley. [music] Andy sets it up by playing an awkward soft-spoken foreign character so the audience underestimates him completely.
Then he flips into a shockingly committed Elvis. And the laugh comes from the sudden transformation to full Vegas performer. [music] Thank you very much. Carson admitted Kaufman fooled me every time with that bit and I knew it was coming. Robin Williams, the trick or trout appearance. People always think reformers don’t get nervous.
Not at all. Really? I don’t. Oh god. Not really. Not at all. Not really. Not me. No way. Is there some reason you don’t do? Is the fact that you get nervous? I suffer from severe dyslexia, too. I was the only child in my block on Halloween to go trick-or-treat. This is the version of Robin that feels like he’s improvising at the speed of thought, using the mic like a launchpad for voices and physical [music] bursts.
The moment lands because Carson is visibly won over by the sheer force of it. Including bits fans still sight from that era like Trick or Trout. Williams chains together impressions faster than most people can process a single thought. and Johnny just surrenders the interview entirely. The funniest part is watching Carson try to ask a question and Robin turning the question itself into three different characters before answering.
He’s doing Russian accents then. Southern preachers, then alien voices, all within 10 seconds and the audience can barely catch their breath. Here comes that young Williams boy again. Better get some fish. Here you go. Say hi to your mom and dad. Johnny starts laughing so hard he stops trying to steer the conversation and just lets Robin run wild across the stage.
This appearance became legendary because it captured Williams at his most unfiltered when he was still hungry and unpredictable. The speed and creativity feel dangerous in the best way like anything could happen and probably will. [music] Jim Carrey, the debut line that changed everything. My name is Jim Carrey. I’d like to do some impressions for you tonight if you’ll just give me a minute.
I think it was about 30 years ago today. I was attacked by a dog. I was standing in the street screaming, trying to get the vicious dog off my leg. Car’s debut is built around watch what my body and face can [music] do, but not just setups and punchlines, which makes it unforgettable.
He chains impressions and characters into constant escalation. And it’s notable this appearance is remembered as his breakthrough, even without getting waved to the couch. Jim goes full [music] physical, transforming his face into exaggerated versions of celebrities while his body contorts in ways that shouldn’t be possible. My entire life staring in the mirror.
I have, but I haven’t been staring at me. I’ve been staring at Lynette Brev. [applause] The bit works because he’s not just doing impressions, he’s becoming the people through pure physicality and commitment. Carson watches with visible amazement because Carrie’s doing things most comedians wouldn’t even attempt on their debut.
There’s a manic energy to the performance that reads as, “This is my one shot and I’m leaving nothing on the table.” He cycles through characters so fast the audience barely has time to applaud before he’s moved to the next one. Johnny later told producers, “That kid has something special, but I have no idea what to call it.
” The performance became a template for Carrie’s entire career, showing his willingness to look ridiculous in service of the lab. Harold Bernett and Tim Conway, the endurance test. I pulled up and a guy in a red jacket said, “Uh, can I take your car?” And I said, “Yeah.” And I said, “Do I need a ticket?” And he said, “No, I don’t think so.
” And that’s the last I saw him or my car. The laughs come from the way Conway starts a story and keeps adding ridiculous details while Bernett fights desperately to stay composed. It plays like an endurance test where the fun is watching Carol nearly crack as Tim keeps pushing the premise further and further. Conway’s genius is making simple stories absurd through escalation.
And Bernett’s reactions sell every beat because she’s barely holding it together. You can see her trying to maintain professionalism while Tim adds another layer of nonsense and the audience eats up every second of her struggle. The chemistry between them is so natural it feels like watching two old friends torturing each other for sport.
Donuts and I are practicing with me going together. Donuts and me. No, no, you guys aren’t in it. Just Carol was correcting your grammar with Donuts. She should. Yeah. Okay. So, Don Knuts and I are in this thing with No, Donuts and me. Donuts. The three of us are in it. Um, Tim knows exactly how to break Carol and he exploits that knowledge ruthlessly by dragging out details until she’s shaking with laughter.
She’ll try to interject and Tim just keeps going like he didn’t hear her, which makes it even funnier because now she’s trapped. Johnny watches from the side enjoying the show because he knows Conway is about to destroy Bernett’s composure completely. The bit works because it’s not scripted chaos. It’s two professionals who know each other’s rhythms so well they can improvise destruction.
Carol later said, “Tim’s stories were psychological warfare disguised as comedy, and I lost every single time.” Betty White and Johnny Carson, Adam and Eve’s legal battle. He didn’t fix the ladder. He’s late coming home from work. I’ll bet that jungle jerk’s out swinging with the boys again. They commit to the absurd visuals with leaves and first couple energy while framing it like a modern legal fight.
The joke works because it treats Adam and Eve as if they’re in a palimony style dispute, arguing like a bickering celebrity couple instead of biblical figures. Betty plays Eve as a fed-up ex-wife, tired of Adam’s nonsense, and Johnny leans into the deadbeat dad energy with perfect timing. The premise is ridiculous, but they sell it through commitment turning Genesis into a courtroom drama about unpaid back paradise.
Where Tarzan’s dinner? I don’t have your dinner, Banana Brain. Send off some pizza. What their number? I don’t know. Call information if the number you need isn’t. Betty delivers lines about emotional damages from that whole Apple incident while Johnny counters with excuses about snake-based coercion.
The audience loves it because the concept is so brazenly silly, yet they’re playing it completely straight. The sketch becomes a masterclass in how absurd premises thrive when performers refuse to wink at the camera. Red Skelton, the character comedy legend. I was 6’3. I’m 6’2 now. As you get older, you shrink. That’s why I read that.
Yeah, the cartilage is all gets small. You look good. You look good. I got my uh my Christmas card from the president. Did you get yours? Yes, I did. Skelton leans into his classic character comedy instincts, shifting into warm pantoime heavy storytelling he was famous for throughout his career.
The laughs come from how he turns simple situations into full character scenes the way he did with personas like Freddy the Freeloader. Red’s performing style feels like a throwback to vaudeville where physical comedy and facial expressions carry as much weight as the words. He’ll do a bit about something mundane like waiting for a bus and transform it into a three-minute character study complete with multiple voices.
Johnny watches with genuine admiration because Skelton represents an older generation of comedy that built the foundation Carson walked on. Oh, wonderful. I don’t let age bother me. I’m hanging around long enough to see who gets Brook Shield. [applause] Red’s energy is gentle and inviting, never aggressive or edgy, just pure charm and storytelling craft.
He uses the stage like a canvas painting pictures with his body language and vocal shifts that make the audience visualize entire worlds. The audience responds with warmth because Red’s comedy feels like comfort food, nostalgic, and satisfying. Carson said, “Red Skelton taught me that comedy doesn’t have to be mean to be brilliant.
Watching skeleton on Carson is like seeing two different eras of entertainment shake hands. Steven Wright, the dead pan absurdist. I was cesarian born. Can’t really tell. Although whenever I leave a house, I go out through the window. [applause] [applause] Wright’s entire set is deadpan oneliners delivered like he’s half asleep, which makes the absurdity hit harder than it should.
Jokes like treating physics literally, such as imagining driving at the speed of light and turning on headlights land because he plays nonsense with total sincerity. Steven stands almost motionless with a flat monotone voice that makes every punchline feel like a philosophical observation. [snorts] Been doing a little work around my house to put hardwood floors over wall to wall carpeting.
The comedy works because there’s zero performance energy, just pure concept delivered with maximum dryness. He’ll say something like, “I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.” And the audience takes a second to process before erupting. People come over and say, “Go ahead, touch it. It feels real.
On the walls of my house have paintings of the rooms above them.” Johnny loves it because Wright’s style is so opposite of traditional standup. It feels like performance art disguised as jokes. Wright never smiles or acknowledges the laughs. He just moves to the next oneliner like he’s reading a grocery list.
The rhythm is hypnotic because there’s no buildup or theatrics, just thought after surreal thought. He treats stage time like he’s sharing shower thoughts he wrote down and forgot about. Johnny tries to banter with him, but Wright’s responses are so dry they become their own jokes. The vast majority of the comedians on this list made history-telling jokes on the Tonight Show stage.
Comedians and stand-up performers today cite these moments as inspirational and legendary material for the time. If you love these hilarious Tonight Show moments, hit the subscribe button and write your favorite Johnny Carson joke you think we missed that should have been included in the comments below.